someone told me i'm having a baby. okay that person was a doctor. a BAYBAY! a real one. omigad. so, for the last several months (since hearing said news) i have been thinking hard about lots of things...well, mostly two main things: crocs and cartman. okay, i realize this is easy for me to say now, but still---my baby will not wear crocs! no, not ever! do not take this as an invitation to get me an ironic gift. no crocs damnit!
(i'm not the only one with an insatiable desire to burn, er, melt the country's entire stock of crocs: http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2008/07/31/make-it-stop.html. there is even an entire website dedicated to crocs bashing: http://ihatecrocsblog.blogspot.com/ ; )
the urban dictionary defines them perfectly: "Shoes for people with no taste. They look dorky as hell and are insanely overpriced for the simple fact they are merely molded plastic." http://www.urbandictionary.com/
thing two eclipsing my mind right now (well, what's left of my prego brain after what seems like most of my blood has taken up residence in my belly and, umm, assets) is eric cartman. you know...hilarious little fat kid from south park.i gotta say, i love that show, it is just waaaay too funny, and cartman--the little evil genius--is the best.
however, now that there is an mini licorice-eating alien taking up residence in my belly, cartman's shrill, whiny voice is haunting me just a tad. his catch phrase, his M.O., his favorite thing to yell, "BUT MAWM!" permanently echoes in my head. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V92tFAFvgEE
'but mawm'...a short, simple phrase, heard by millions of moms all over the america (i say america because i'm not so sure mums in other countries let their little beavises and buttheads get away with such surly tones), is amplified to new heights by eric cartman; annnd in such a pitiful and comedic tone that you can't help but mimic it to your friends. that is, until you realize a time is rapidly approaching where you yourself might be called MAWM!
i have to admit, it is my own little hellish nightmare that someone, or multiple someones, follow me around for the rest of my life yelling mawm! but mawm! maaaawm! mawwwm! i willn't let it happen, i tell you!
i am determined that my little licorice alien will not wear crocs. and, it goes without saying that s/he will never get away with cartman-level whining, wimpering, sour badgering and lamenting!
i still find cartman and his motley south park crew side-splittingly (is that a word? it is now) funny. being a mom will never take away my sense of humor! motherhood will, perhaps, find me getting my fill of satire after nightie night time for babies!
and, should my little bugger get on my wrong side by hollering MAWM one too many times, i shall have no problem whining right back in equally obnoxious tones. it's not attractive, is it, you little ankle-biter! ; )
p.s. the same goes for biting. if you bite me, i will bite you back.
